Bex Talks Sex Starting the Conversation
You may have first heard of Kegel exercises during pregnancy when your doctor instructed you to start doing them, or you may have read about them in a sex-ed book. You might have heard about Ben Wa balls for the first time when you were reading the infamous 50 Shades of Grey, or maybe you stumbled across these weird looking vaginal barbells in a sex shop and inquired what they were. Or maybe, you’ve never heard of them at all.
So, What Are Kegel Exercises?
Kegal exercises are designed to strengthen the PC muscle1 also known as the pelvic floor. Not sure where your PC muscles are? Well they’re the same muscles that contract during orgasm, to be fair though, paying attention to exactly which muscles are contracting when you have all of the fuzzy feelings of orgasm rushing through you isn’t the easiest thing, so there’s another option. Next time you’re peeing, try to stop the flow of urine mid-stream, if you do so successfully you’ve isolated the right muscles. This is perfectly safe to do to identify the muscles, but unhealthy to do regularly and can actually weaken the muscles, and lead to the problems with the bladder in the future.
Okay, But Why Should I Do Them?
There are plenty of reasons to start doing Kegel exercises, but they can be summed up into three categories:
- Pregnancy: One of the most common reasons women become aware of kegel exercises; many doctors recommend them both during and after the pregnancy to promote an easier vaginal birth and improve healing of the pelvic floor following the birth.
- Bladder Control: Sometimes this comes hand in hand with pregnancy, sometimes it doesn’t, but stronger PC muscles will also improve bladder control, which means no more leaks when you sneeze.
- ORGASMS: By far the most fun of the bunch, Kegel exercises can also improve your orgasms! The PC muscles are the muscles that contract during orgasm so strengthening them will strengthen your orgasms as well as improve your control over them.
Sold! How Do I Start?
It’s pretty simple. Start small by clenching the muscles, holding for five seconds, then relaxing for five seconds. When you’re clenching your PC muscles it is important to be sure you are isolating only those muscles, you shouldn’t also be clenching your anus, stomach, or thighs at the same time. Once you find yourself becoming more comfortable you can move on to ten seconds at a time, with ten seconds rest, which is ideal.
When you’re comfortable with that try squeezing in different patterns, three quick squeezes and one long one, or two long squeezes followed by five rapid fire clenches. You could also practice squeezing to different degrees, try to squeeze only 1/2 as tight as you normally would and hold it for twice the amount of time. Exercises like this will help you connect with your body and gain greater control over it.
Like most other muscles in the body, your PC muscles do more than just squeeze together, they can also expand and contract while pulling up/pushing down. Once you’re comfortable doing those basic squeezes try imagining a small ball sitting just at the opening of your vagina. Use your PC muscles to pull the imaginary ball into you, imagine pulling it all the way up into your cervix, then bear down and imagine pushing it as far out of your vagina as you can. This is going to exercise your muscles differently than the basic clenches you were doing before so you may find yourself tiring more quickly with these.
How Often Should I Do Them?
Ideally you would exercise three times a day, or even more. The most difficult thing about Kegel exercises is remembering to do them, so I find the easiest thing to do link them in your mind to something else you do regularly, make it a routine. They’re perfect because you can do them anywhere without other people knowing, so you can link it to pretty much anything. For example: Ten squeezes for every red light, or fifteen every time you wash your hands. Leave a set of Kegel balls in a prominent spot in the shower and wear them for the length of your shower, or exercise for the whole time you’re brushing your teeth. Is there a annoying routine task you do regularly at work? For example, make a photocopy, or take something in return, take that as an opportunity to do your Kegels then.
So What About All Those Things They Sell?
Like a barbell or a treadmill for your gym workout, there are also accessories that you can get for your PC workout as well. Most common are Kegel Balls, or Ben Wa Balls, which come in two different styles. The easiest to use are large-ish2 plastic balls, sometimes one but usually two connected by a small cord, and inside those are smaller heavier balls. With each movement the small ball will rattle around in the larger ball, feeling almost like a very weak, rumbly vibration. In addition to the pleasant sensations, the rumbling also triggers your PC muscles to subconsciously contract which means you don’t have to remember to do it yourself!
It you want to get a little more advanced, they also make smaller3 solid glass or metal balls. These are designed to create more of a challenge, the goal is to be able to hold them in place vaginally while standing or walking, the smaller and heavier the balls are the more difficult they are to hold and the more intense the workout is.
There are a number of other Kegel exercisers on the market as well, things like the Magic Banana, or dildos that double as weight you can hold vaginally, or even the Jopen Intensity which uses electrostim to stimulate the muscles into contracting. These are all unique products, which may or may not work well for your body.
Hey! What About Us?
Now, I know this whole thing is seeming very vagina-centric but Kegels are not just for the vagina owners out there, all you penis owning folks benefit from them as well. Most penis owners are familiar with the muscle groups that are used to make the penis move (or dance if the mood strikes), these are your PC muscles. You can do many of the same exercises that were depicted above, and get many of the same benefits.4 To add weight you can simply drape a damp towel over you and lift that as you perform your exercises.