The Myths of Men’s Sex Toys

Sex positive, education focused retail boutiques often market themselves as welcoming to women, a clean well lit environment designed to be the antidote to basement porn shops with sticky floors.1 Since it’s so rare to see a space catering specifically for women, in my experience men were often left wondering where they fit in (or if they fit in at all). Many men who came in, often accompanied by a female partner, would eventually wander up to the register to ask if we carried any toys “for men”.

The answer is more than just a yes. Sure, we carried sex toys that men could use, but that’s simply because all sex toys are sex toys men can use. Now, I understand that when people asked me this question, what they were asking for was a sleeve that they could put their penis into and jerk off, and sure, there are plenty of those, but the world of sex toys for men is so much wider than that, so today I’m here to bust some myths about “male sex toys”.

Male sex toys? So, you mean Fleshlights right?

Men can use a whole range of sex toys and strokers are just a small portion of that. The Cobra Libre is a vibrators designed to stimulate the head of the penis and a cock ring can offer vibration and a stronger erection. You don’t even need a vibrator designed for penises, countless men enjoy having vibrators like the Magic Wand pushed up against their bits. Men who enjoy anal play, which doesn’t make you gay by the way, might enjoy the long slender curve of the Pfun plug, or a thick dildo like The Outlaw. Cis men might want a harness, for double penetration or to just try on a new dick for a day.

None of this is exclusive to cis men either! Trans guys can enjoy all kinds of vibrators externally, and if they enjoy penetration in one or both holes they might enjoy an internal vibe or dildo. Trans men might enjoy butt plugs or harnesses, they might even enjoy a cock ring as a finger vibe for stroking their cock.

Okay, but women get all the cool sex toys. There’s nothing interesting for men.

One glance at the review site Men’s Toys Hub disproves this one. There you’ll find strokers that stroke themselves, blowjob machines, and prostate stimulators that move on their own, and that’s with just a cursory glance across the first page. The Stronic Zwei is a thrusting vibrator that can be used anally or vaginally, and the Loki Wave will curl forward to put pressure on the prostate with consistently hugging the perineum with vibration. The Hot Octopus Pulse features a plate that pulses against the frenulum, offering a unique style of vibration.

Trans men have access to a whole range of toys, from the way Satisfyer’s suction based clit toys can feel like a blowjob on demand to strokers designed specifically for trans clits, cis women aren’t the only people with interesting new sex toys to try.

Well… those sound kind of cool… it’s too bad sex toys are only for sad lonely men living in their parent’s basement.

Nope, this one isn’t true either. Jerking off isn’t exclusive to single folks, and neither are sex toys. Sex toys also don’t make you lonely or pathetic, they make you a person who is invested in exploring their pleasure. Sex toys are also great to use with a partner! The Fleshlight Quickshot is a great accessory for a blowjob, and a good cock ring is going to feel great for everyone involved.

Mutual masturbation is another fantastic way to use your toys, one of the hottest memories I have of my ex was the way he looked with a Magic Wand pushed up against his cock, and who doesn’t want to watch their partner get off?

There are countless options for men in the world of sex toys, and countless ways to use them, all you have to do is start exploring.

Many thanks to Men’s Toy Hub for sponsoring this post! As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

1. That said, I love me a good grimy sex shop and fully believe they have their own place in the industry. [↩]